The Surrealist Compliment Generator

The Surrealist Compliment Generator has been around the Internet for some time, but I just got around to playing with it this morning.

Most of the compliments are rather diminishing, but here are my favorites:

The tiny sounds of ancient bees resound forth from the forrested coercions between your toes.

Your presence reminds one of a blind jackal, eternally dependent upon misguided archbishops to provide instruction in bowling.

Your eyes are much like milky pools of pantyhose.

Ever do your tears shed forth an peal of epidermal thunder!

What beautiful negligence you wear!

Flies dance operas to your wisdom.

You have no socially redeeming value.

In your presence even my shadow acquires the sensation of touch.

You have the intrepid appeal of a carnivorous apple on its way to a pile of cadaveric stones.

Your tears evoke a taste as memorable as honey.

You enter while seven exits.

You foment graciously, as ever any dying monster did rot.

Ah! how the play of light upon your shoulders does bring one to reminisce of fallen lighthorsemen and gaseous trenches.

Fast blinking reveals the true visage of time pieces hidden within your eyes.

I see your loves in cloves.

You look like a million paces tonight.

You meander through love as a river delta contemplating levitation.

Luminescence breeds in your finest moments of desperation.

Your unexpected explosion entangles us in a web of premature umbrellas and precocious timepieces.

You are a banana moon subverting the sun.

Be still, my love, my watermelon rind. I am consumed with your collection of agile fans and pocked blades.


Bitterzoet is a press that publishes a print magazine twice a year, monthly web issues, and “bonbon” chapbooks throughout the year, all chock-full of bittersweet work.

The first print issue is out, and it’s beautifully made. I’m delighted that my tiny story “Sustenance” appears in it!

Here’s an excerpt:

The border is obscure and very tenuous. Sometimes I find it when I am passing through a black forest with the trees on either side of me lengthening into the sky. Other times I land on it when I have driven into a neighborhood where the houses are divided by tall, impenetrable hedges, and smoke is continuously rising and unspooling on the wind. Once as I rounded an immense lake, its surface bare. Perhaps it is only accessible at five in the morning for people who are driving northeast.

“The Pocket Watch Prince” to appear on Toasted Cake

My first published short story, “The Pocket Watch Prince” (it originally appeared in Hogglepot), will be reprinted as a podcast at Toasted Cake! I cannot even begin to describe how excited I am by this.

Toasted Cake is an idiosyncratic flash fiction podcast from Tina Connolly, author of Ironskin—and one of my favorite publications. The stories (many of them SF/F) are fantastic, and Tina is an amazing storyteller.

If you’re looking for a place to start, check out a few of my favorites: “Safe Road” and “Pageant Girls” by Caroline M. Yoachim, “The Hungry Child” by Romie Stott, “The Tides” by Ken Liu, and “Again and Again and Again” by Rachel Swirsky.

You can subscribe to Toasted Cake here.

Friday Fiction: “Beyond, Behind, Below”

This week’s Friday Fiction is actually something I read last Friday and forgot to post here. It is “Beyond, Behind, Below” by Betsy Phillips, published in Issue 1 of Betwixt.

Out beyond the big house with its massive Greek columns, behind the brick kitchen, farther than the vegetable garden, below the slave quarters, past the new barn and the fallow lower fields, on the other side of the stacked stone wall, across a muddy lane, along a creek sat the old cabin—the first home place, now abandoned.

I love this story—so much so, I emailed the writer b/c I couldn’t contain myself. Basically, I love the way this story unfolds—the way it seems to dip in and out of time and feels like it is traveling a path that loops back. And the prose just hooks me some place vulnerable. Mostly I just found myself rereading it and feeling myself sink in time and then bobbing forward. It’s a witchy, beautiful, unsparing story.


My YA short story, “Ascension,” is out now in the new Suddenly Lost in Words Volume 4. There are 9 stories in Volume 4, including mine.

Here’s an excerpt:

Ink stains my fingers like irregular birthmarks. My hands smell strongly of lime juice, which only paled the marks instead of cleaning them out. My hair, the only feature I take pride in, hangs limply about my face. There is ink in it, too. I look nothing like the refined girls of Eben’s acquaintance, girls with lustrous, upswept hair and fat, honeyed curls that could coil twice around a boy’s wrist like well-fed snakes.

Two calls for submissions I want to highlight:

1) The Golden Key
Submissions for the Hungry Things issue are still ongoing and will run until March 31. Also, at the bottom of our recent “Submitting to The Golden Key” post, there’s a wish list of things we’d love to see come in.

2) THE SEA IS OURS Anthology
Rosarium Publishing is putting together an anthology of Southeast Asian steampunk. I’m very excited about this project—can’t wait to see what stories come out of it. It’s also inspired me to delve into Southeast Asian mythologies and folklore, so I’m currently falling down that rabbit hole.

Friday Fiction: “Form”

Friday Fiction for January 24 comes from Gigantic’s new Winter 2014 issue: “Form” by André Babyn.

Beneath the moon the snow is so bright that the air above attains form. This luminance becomes a space that can be traversed. Before the woods, where the bare trees cast shadows and disrupt the light, my three dogs on their leashes.

Oof. I love this. Gigantic is one of my favorite magazines. It consistently publishes pieces that tangle me up.

The Golden Key will start reading submissions for Issue 4 soon. Fourth issue already! The theme calls for HUNGRY THINGS. I am very excited about this issue’s object.

Happy 2014!

Hey, Happy New Year!

Writing goals for this year: Risk more—no mercy! Finish draft 1! And, don’t fall off the write every day wagon!

In reading news, things I’ve read lately: This thoughtful review of my friend Carlea Holl-Jensen’s wonderful piece, “The Hollow”, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo, and The Color Master: Stories by Aimee Bender (still reading this one).

In writing news: I made my first pro sale of 2014 this week to Suddenly Lost in Words, a YA short fiction publication. “Ascension” will appear in Volume 4.

My short story, “Model Home” has been made available online at New Haven Review! Print edition is forthcoming in early February.

A review of NANO Fiction 7.1 makes a nice mention of my included piece.